Christmastime Is (Not) Here

I'm a tolerant man, more or less. I can put up with a lot.

I understand that Christmas is the happiest time of the year and that the food, decorations, gifts, and get-togethers are something to look forward to and cherish.

Also, I'm a man who can get behind Christmas music. The Johnny Mathis Christmas album featuring classics like "It's a Ding-Dong Marshmellow World" is one of my favorites of all time and I would happily listen to the Vince Guaraldi Trio's music for "A Charlie Brown Christmas" any day of the year. And Frank Sinatra's version of "Jingle Bells?" Fuhgeddaboudit. I defy you not groove on that song.

However, despite my oceanic tolerance (ha ha) and my love of Christmas tunes, I believe there is a time and a place for everything. I don't try to mow the lawn in flip-flops and a tube top in January nor do I wear earmuffs and legwarmers in July. I eat eggs for breakfast and pizza for dinner and never the twain shall meet, you know?

With that in mind, you have to understand that I am of the firm belief that radio stations that start playing Christmas music 24 hours a day, seven days a week the day after Halloween are violating natural law. They might as well be cloning Nazi-cyborg-sheep or something. Christmas music before Thanksgiving is just. not. right.

I realize we don't exactly live in a less-is-more society. There isn't much that's left to the imagination any more and the idea of delayed gratification has become nothing more than an occasional punchline on television.

But come on, doesn't anyone understand that Christmas is that much better when it's a compact, concentrated experience and not something thin and dragged out? I'd rather take a short, luxurious bath in a deep tub than have all the time I want to bathe in a long puddle, you know? I want to be sad when Christmas is over, not wearily relieved.

So don't give me Christmas the day after Halloween. Let me enjoy the falling leaves and the cooling temperatures. Let me look forward to Thanksgiving dinner and the first big snowfall. Don't jam a tree down my throat and tinny, crappy Amy Grant Christmas songs in my ear until I'm good and ready.

Illinois

Land of...

Lincoln
Obama
Oprah
the Cubs
the Sox
da' Bears
the Browns.

Yay for us! Yesterday I was offered the job at IVCC and I happily, greedily, slobberingly accepted it. Thanks to everyone for the good vibes, prayers, and pagan sacrifices that were offered on our behalf.


P.S. We will be located in Lasalle county which is the yellow shape that looks like a box with one leg up near the top of the map.

Super Turkey

Another example of how Maryn's creativity, intelligence, and nerd-heritage come together in unexpected and wonderful ways: Super Turkey!

Click to enlarge.





According to Maryn, the bomb the evil scientist creates is designed to make all the animals of the world obey his evil commands. Naturally, Super Turkey would be concerned about such a threat to the agency and safety of animal kind. I mentioned that she didn't show how ST stopped the mind-control bomb and she said she might address that in a future issue. For now, enjoy your poulty-based super heroics.

How The Interview Went

So the interview went well. It was long - about six and a half hours, but not as grueling as one might think.

I showed up a little before ten, checked my tie, hair, and teeth in the mirror and then presented myself at the front desk. George Needs (which I think is a hilarious name) from HR came downstairs and vigorously shook my hand. We headed upstairs to the HR office where I got the lowdown on benefits, retirement, etc. Not much on salary yet because they only really start figuring that once they've committed to you. I've got a Master's degree plus over 30 hours of credits from a major state university toward a PhD, plus four years of high ed experience, and two years of YDB (how they'll count that is a mystery.) So hopefully, if I'm hired, we'll have sufficient for our needs.

Anyway, from there I was taken to the testing center where they gave me thirty minutes to write an impromptu essay on my teaching philosophy and how it intersects with the mission of a comprehensive community college. I used the Goethe quote that I have posted on my sidebar as a starting point and wrote a bunch of stuff about how community colleges are the place for humane and compassionate yet rigorous instruction. I came to a comfortable stopping place in the essay with one minute to spare on the egg time they left sitting on the table next to my keyboard.

An English faculty member took me around on a campus tour from there. Suzanne, the girls, and I had walked around the night before and gotten a sense of the place so the tour was more about learning the names of places more than about seeing them for the first time. The campus is really interesting and I've never seen a college put together in exactly the same way. The buildings are all connected and form a ring that circles a tree-filled courtyard. The buildings are pretty maze-like but open with lots of windows. The campus is situated on a hill that leads directly down to the Illinois River and is surrounded by woods.



After the tour came the lunch which was pretty informal - pizza and pop with members of the division. (English, Math, Early Education, etc.) The division members were nice and polite and the pizza was okay. I ended up doing most of my chatting with a math teacher named Wes who is originally from Mississippi. We talked about the differences between northern and southern MS and those sorts of things.

I went from lunch straight to a meeting with the VP for academic affairs. We sat in her office and she asked me a series of questions about my teaching methods, my plans for professional development, etc. Once that was over, she walked me to the President's office. The President is a slender, bald man in his mid-fifties who doesn't seem to have much use for beating around the bush. Nice guy, straight talker. I thought the two of us got along swimmingly.

The last two events were sort of the big finish - a formal interview with all six members of the division hiring committee and a teaching demonstration. The interview consisted of the committee members reading off their list of prepared questions and me doing my best to come up with useful, intelligent answers on the spot. For the teaching demonstration, I presented what I would do in a classroom on an average day. They had given me an essay to work with, "Life of the Closed Mind" by Anna Quindlen, so I used that as a jumping off point and then just did my thing.

Once that was over, each committee member shook my hand and wished me the best of luck and that was it. I splashed some water on my face in the bathroom and then wandered outside to wait for Suzanne and the girls to come and pick me up.

I felt like it went as well as it possibly could have gone. There isn't anything I look back on and think, "Jeeze, I should/shouldn't have said/done that." If they don't pick me, it will be because they just liked someone better, not because I dropped the ball, I don't think.

We'll know one way or the other soon enough. They promised me they'd let people know by the end of this coming week - so no later than Friday. I'll hold them to that and I'll be sure to keep you updated as things develop.

After a Draught

It's been a week, dear readers, and I'm sorry about that. I will repent, I promise. I'll catch you up on Halloween, on the long drive to Oglesby, the details of the job interview yesterday, and the long drive back. And I'll do it soon.

But I have an exam I have to finish writing and then I need to get in the shower and head to Henry Ford so it will have to wait for now.

Before that aforementioned exam and shower, I did want to acknowledge our new President--elect and how excited I am for what I hope will be a genuine turn in the rhetoric and policies of the federal government. My friend Tracy summed up my thoughts nicely a few days ago on her blog:

"Is Barack Obama perfect? No. But, his world view doesn’t involve swirling the country around in a neverending toilet bowl of fear and greed and hate. That’s good enough for me."



Congratulations, President-elect Obama. I'm glad you won. Now let's get to work.