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Who Is Going To Win Dancing With The Stars?

I realize the most obvious, immediate answer is: "Who cares?"

But the other, also obvious answer is:

Not this guy.


Him shimmying in a leopard-print trimmed vest was practically the picture you'd expect to see in the dictionary next to the word "Wrong." All sorts of icky weirdness going on there. Let it be over mercifully soon, please.

Recently, while getting my hair cut,

the stylist lady with breath like a million-year-old coffee cup said, "Do you get your eyebrows trimmed?"

I said, "No, I'm not to that point in life yet."

She clicked her tongue and said, "Well, I hate to be the one to break it to you but. . . they're ready."

Thanks, Betty. Thanks a lot. Here's your tip: Keep your mouth shut when you're cutting people's hair.

That Is One Yellow Baby

It's been a week so I figure it's time to update. For the most part, things are good. We are slowly settling into our life as a family of five. The girls like to come home from school and kiss Parker on her little noggin every day. Suzanne is getting around a little better. I'm back at work but still able to be home by 3 or so for when Maryn and Avery get off the bus. All in all, things are okay. The only real cloud on our horizon is that Parker is still (STILL) jaundiced and isn't gaining a lot of weight. She was born at 6 lbs. 9 oz. and then took the usual post-birth drop to 5 lbs. 12 oz. She's stayed there since and it's expected that babies get back to their birth weight by the time they're two weeks old. That's day after tomorrow. We' really rather not have to supplement her food with formula if we don't have to - but if we must, we will.

Anyway, other than doing her impression of a buttercup, Parker is awesome. She's peaceful and likes to look around a lot. She's already lifting her delicate, little head up to look at things and she coos and talks quite a bit. As babies go, she's a cool one for sure.

Maryn and Avery are adjusting pretty well. They like Parker but I think there's some underlying tension over who is getting most of the attention in the house. Despite our best efforts, neither of our girls have developed into really good helpers around the house. They'll do things they like to do - Avery likes to help bake, for instance - but little stuff, small stuff ("Hey, could you go put your socks in the dirty clothes basket" or "Will you go grab my phone off the kitchen table and bring it here?") makes them act like they're being stabbed through the heart and then asked to run a marathon. This has gotten worse since Parker came along. It's as though they feel they shouldn't be asked to do anything, even if it's to clean up a mess they just barely made right in front of my eyes.

It's frustrating but just part of the adjustment, I guess.

Suzannne is still tender and still sleep deprived. She's madly in love with Parker though and that's pretty fun to watch. (She's not madly in love with me, however. Apparently, my snoring does not help when she's trying to get back to sleep at four a.m. after nursing the baby. I am a deep, deep, loud sleeper. Sorry, Suze.)

Anyway, it's fall here. The nights are getting chilly and the days are becoming increasingly nice. A few trees have even started to change. It's still hot some afternoons but it doesn't last. Our garden is on its way out - the cucumbers have long since died and the tomatoes are going the way of all the earth. It's a nice time right now and I really like it. I love the fall.

When I get a little more time, I intend to post about the fate of the mix tape in today's all digital world. Be on the lookout.

A Few Pictures for Her Fans

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes and encouragement. Parker thanks you all and will be sending out autographed 8x10 glossies later this month once her fine motor skills develop a little.

Fresh From The Oven

September 5th at 3:30 p.m. Six pounds, nine ounces, nineteen inches long. Parker Faye Brown.

Whew.

High Sierra

I still have 40 minutes left in Raoul Walsh's High Sierra but so far so good. Interestingly, Ida Lupino got top billing and Bogart was second. Nowadays, who remembers Ida Lupino? It's a good heist film and Bogart has an awesome haircut. It features some nice on-location shooting and, of course, shows the wages of sin. The more I read the more I realize how the narrative structures we take for granted were shaped by industrial mandate. In other words, most films we see feature the bad guy getting it in the end because early on in Hollywood's history, filmmakers were told that's what had to happen. It distressed people in charge of the Production Code to see gangsters and other bad guys romanticized and valorized so they dictated that if criminals were depicted, it had to be shown that crime doesn't pay, that their lifestyle didn't end well. Isn't that funny? We're so used to the bad guy getting his just deserts, we just assume that's the way stories are to be told. But largely those are the films that were made - not because people didn't want to see films like that - but because censors complained and industry bigwigs wanted their movies to be seen by the largest number of people possible. Interesting.

I'll finish High Sierra after we're done watching the diva-fest that is Project Runway.

P.S. In addition to being an actress, Ida Lupino is one of the only (if not the only) women to direct a film noir. She co-wrote and directed the 1953 feature The Hitchhiker. It didn't keep me awake all the way through but I still admire the accomplishment.

The Silence of the Freshmen

I teach two sections of English 1001 back to back on Mondays. Wednesdays, and Fridays. My ten o'clock section is funny, bright, and engaged. It's a pleasure to spend time with them because they're not afraid to speak and, therefore, to learn. They make jokes, ask questions, raise their hand to comment, etc. My nine o'clock class, on the other hand, is becoming increasingly difficult. I might even say excruciating. They all act as though speaking aloud in class would make them shatter into a million pieces or perhaps spontaneously burst into flames. I spend the whole first week and a half doing getting to you know you exercises - the same things I did with the ten o'clock bunch - and yet it all seems to be for naught. I can feel them calcifying right in front of me. A class doesn't really develop its personality until about three or four weeks in. After that, it's very hard to shift the dynamic. My fear is that this particular bunch will develop into the class of quiet resistance - not talking will simply become what they do.

I get that being a freshman is scary and that some of these students have spent high school slumping down, hoping the teacher won't call their name. I guess what's frustrating me is feeling like my tried-and-true techniques for getting people to loosen up and feel comfortable aren't working. I'll admit I pride myself (too much) on being a welcoming, non-threatening teacher and on creating a classroom environment in which everyone feels safe to participate. I know not every student is going to enjoy English and that not everyone will necessarily succeed. But when an entire class seems to be pulling away and resisting even the most basic efforts at class participation, it bothers me a lot.

I've had this happen before - just not recently. In the past, I kind of locked-up and got resentful and taskmaster-ish about it. Needless to say, that doesn't work. It just adds to the atmosphere of weirdness and tension. Not getting overly wrapped up in whether or not my students speak in class is a good tack to take. If they do, good for them. If they don't, bad for them - but not a world-ender for me. It's important that I not take it personally.

But how do I make them speak? If making comments, asking questions, and engaging verbally with class material is an important part of them learning (which it is) and a crucial component of their grade (which it is), what can I do that would actually encourage them?

* Know their names. It's easy to remember the names of the four students who always talk, but what about the other twenty who don't? I'm a big fan of being able to call people by their names and ask them questions - not to put them on the spot, necessarily, but to have a conversation with them. Knowing what to call them and which Courtney (4 in this class) and which Samantha (2) is which helps.

* Help them to know what to say. Just asking, "What did you guys think about the essay?" works in some classes but not in others. With students like these, it's good to narrow my questions, specify what I'm looking for, and model potential answers. I think most students have some kind of response bubbling in their brains - they just don't know how to phrase it or whether or not it's an acceptable thing to say.

* Let there be silence. There has to be a balance, of course, but generally I don't think there's anything wrong with letting the students feel the pressure of a little bit of quiet time. I'm not a teacher that has to fill every second with sound. If I ask a question, it's okay with me if there are a few seconds of silence afterwards. The students will either perk up and answer or they won't.

* Don't freak. I've freaked out on students before. The first semester I ever taught (lo, those many years ago back in 2000) I lashed into my students because 95% of them had failed to do an assignment. I gave them a heated lecture about how they were wasting their time and mine and then I excused them and told them not to come back unless they were ready to be students. They were more dutiful about getting stuff in after that but the mood of the class had changed and never really returned to its pre-freakout levels of friendliness and comfort. I know that, for some of them, I'll forever be that uptight grad student who lost it in class. Must avoid in future.

Anyway, this is just what's on my mind this morning. I figured many of you would welcome something other than a baby countdown. I'm sure a meditation on how to coax out frightened freshmen was exactly what you were hoping for instead.

P.S. For the record, Suzanne is now at 37 weeks. Contractions but no progress.

P.P.S. I know that I haven't posted anything about my weight in weeks. There's a reason for that. No change whatsoever. 234.5 this morning.