It's late so this won't be long. I just finished a stack of eleven 1002 papers. A couple were really good, a couple were really bad, and the rest were somewhere in the middle - all of which is pretty typical.
Sometimes when I grade, I just feel guilty because I must not be giving the students everything they need. I must not be because otherwise they wouldn't suck so bad, you know? I think I assume too much and take the easy road too often. I think some students get left behind because I take the "oh, you should have learned this by now" approach in class.
I think I'm a pretty good teacher most of the time. I've been blessed with a knack for explaining abstract concepts in concrete terms. I try to be compassionate about my students' struggles. I try to be funny and nice. But sometimes, I feel like I'm a big faker and that some members of my classes would be better off if they had a real instructor, you know?
Most of my teacher friends have told me they feel the same way now and then so I know I'm not alone. I also know that I'm tired and discouraged at having had to hand out a couple of D's in this last stack of papers. That's never a good state of mind in which to assess one's career and abilities.
So rather than worry myself over it any more, I'm going to bed. It's been a long day and I could use the rest.
P.S. I watched almost all of the finale of "The Bachelor" and "The Bachelor: After the Final Rose" tonight and that's enough to make even the happiest of people feel like the human race is swiftly approaching its end as a good, productive force in the world. Eecchhh. My spiritual malaise proably has more to do with me watching that useless piece of garbage than any grade I could ever give a student.
3 comments:
I think you are being harsh with yourself and failing to consider that many others did or did not lay the groundwork for what resulted in those "D's". Teaching is a cooperative venture between current and past and then factoring in the basic skill and effort of the learner. Make copies of those "D's" and compare with the next paper to see if progress resulted from the slap up the head !
Don't act like you weren't hanging on every word coming out of Jason's mouth. Even though he's a jerk of maximum proportions, it's the DRAMA you secretly love!!
I always found that there were probably more Ds in the stack than Cs. It's not you, it's them! I promise!!!
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