DO NOT make me use my grad student voice

It's a chilly, rainy day here in fair Illinois. Unfortunately for them, it's the day I picked to have my creative writing students walk around outside. So there was a crew of 26 damp, would-be poets wandering around downtown LaSalle this afternoon. I sat inside the local cafe, safe and dry, grading papers and trying to look professorial. It worked. No one came up and said, "Why aren't you out there getting soaked?" A beard and a sweater-vest go a long way.

Anyway, I need to update my loyal readers (all four of them) on what's happening.

Parker is now seven pounds. The doctor said she only wanted an ounce a day of weight gain and our little Porker has nearly doubled that. She's an eater for sure so we know she has at least a little of me in her. Most of you probably don't know my nickname when I was a baby was "Piglet." Yep.

Suzannne is recovering pretty well. She actually went downstairs yesterday which, I think, is the first time she's done that in about four months. She's getting around better and seems to be feeling less pain generally.

The semester is going well. The aforementioned creative writing class is a real kick. It's the biggest class I've ever taught - 26 students - but it's also one of the most fun. The students are enthusiastic, funny, and engaged. Not all of them are going to be poets, that's for sure. But they work hard and make the effort and they're a pleasure to teach. One of my students is actually an IVCC employee who works in the bookstore who also is a fellow Tonican and the mother of a boy who has a big ol' crush on Maryn. So it's a weird collision of worlds all wrapped up in one person - but it hasn't been too weird yet.


The thing on my mind right now is the fact that I'm three weeks away from beginning my Qualifying Exam. (I call it "the test that's so important they had to capitalize it!) My PhD program breaks down like this: you take about two years worth of classes with an emphasis in your chosen field. Once you're done with your coursework, you take the Qualifying Exam. This is a two-part test in which you demonstrate that you have expertise in an established field of academic inquiry and an area of emphasis within that field. In other words, that's where you show you know enough to speak and write intelligently about the stuff you've been studying.

Once you pass the QE, then you move on and take the translation exam, the prospectus exam, and then you write your dissertation. Once your diss is written and defended, you become DOCTOR! (I often tell people the only real reason I want this degree is so people will call me Doctor. Maryn and Avery have both agreed to address me as Doctor Dad once the time comes. If we start training her now, I'm sure Parker will be on board with that too.)

Anyway, the QE has two parts - the written and the oral. I've made a list of about a hundred films and about thirty texts (books mostly but a few essays too)and I'm responsible for all the info in those movies and books. For the written portion, my committee will give me eight questions - some on my field which is Classical Hollywood Cinema and some on my emphasis which is Film Noir. I'll have four hours to answer three of the eight questions. I can bring my books and notes and my brain and do my best in that little window of time. One week later, I sit down with my committee members for two hours and they get to ask me whatever questions they want about my field and emphasis. The oral part is meant to sort of fill in the gaps left open by the written. Because it's the gateway to everything else and because there's only one retake allowed, I'm kind of freaked out.

I feel like I know more about this stuff than your average joe - but do I know enough? Am I going to get there and read the questions and go all Sarah Palin? (Meaning a stammering, incoherent, trying-to-sound-smart-but-really-not hot mess.) I've watched the movies. I'm still in the process of finishing some of the bigger books. But I just don't know if it's been enough.

I have three weeks from this Friday to get it together. Wish me luck.