Fever

Parker has had a fever for almost two days now. She hasn't had much of an appetite and her mood swings between sadly lethargic to angrily uncomfortable. I hate it. I hate it for her sake because she obviously doesn't feel well and there's so little we can do for her. (Motrin, baths, lots of juice, all the naps we can get her to take.) I hate it for our sakes too because we're all still dealing with feeling depleted from last week. It's hard to give fully when it feels like you don't have much yourself.

Suzy was up with Parker for most of last night and now feels hammered and more exhausted than before. Were this any other time in life, I might have called in sick to work and stayed home so she could get some rest. But since I've already missed a week, my options are limited. It sucks.

I get done today at 2 so I'm headed home right after to see if I can offer some relief. I should have gotten up more in the night to help out. Sometimes I'm a little more dead-to-the-world than is good for me (or Suzanne).

The sun was out for a minute this morning and it was one of the most welcome sights I've seen in a long time. It just gets really gray and lightless here and it kind of drives me nuts. A little bit of sunshine goes a long way. There's a cool song by Sting called "Lithium Sunset" and I saw an interview in which he talked about it. He said he'd read that sunlight either had lithium, an anti-depressant, in it or it stimulated its production in our bodies or something. I don't know about the science (if any) of it but it's a good song and I certainly feel the lyrics.

"Lithium Sunset"

Fill my eyes
O Lithium sunset
And take this lonesome burden
Of worry from my mind
Take this heartache
Of obsidian darkness
And fold my darkness
Into your yellow light

I've been scattered I've been shattered
I've been knocked out of the race
But I'll get better
I feel your light upon my face

Heal my soul
O Lithium sunset
And I'll ride the turning world
Into another night
Into another night
Into another night
See mercury falling...



One weird thing I experience is having moments when I think, "Today is a day I would have called Dad/Mom." Either I have a question about something I know they could have helped me with or I see something that reminds me of them or it's just one of those natural times when the tide of life sort of draws you back to your parents. It's an odd, not terribly pleasant feeling to realize they're not around to call anymore. It makes me thankful that I can call Suze or text my brothers or something. Thank heavens for Verizon wireless.