Rejection

My latest little phrase that I've started using is, "No, I reject that." If I hear something I don't like or don't approve of, I simply say, "Nope. I reject that." For example: "There are people in the world who think voting for Newt Gingrich is a good idea? I reject that." or "It was five below with icy roads and a dude in a jacked-up truck went flying past your minivan full of children at seventy miles an hour? I reject that." And so on.

So you want to know what I'm rejecting right now? (Of course you do.) Using the excuse of "I'm too busy" in order to not do something. I reject that. Outright. Lately, it has seemed that a lot of people Suzy and I know, mostly from church, have been "too busy" for things - helping with callings, social get-togethers, returning calls/emails/Facebook messages, etc. "I'm just so busy" they say, their eyes bulging as if to indicate that the sheer velocity of their lives is about to make their craniums implode. They offer some lame, limp apology and say the magic words (SOOOO BUSY!) and, in their minds, that is sufficient explanation for whatever blow-off or cop-out they're most recently guilty of.

Well, as mentioned above, I reject that.

Here's why: it is my personal belief that there is no such thing as too busy. I don't think a state of "too busy" really happens - unless you're the President or an Army general in a time of war or something like that. I don't think average, work-a-day folk really are too busy at all.

Keep in mind, I count myself as one of the aforementioned folk, and, yes, I am a busy guy. I posted the other day about how I'm always worrying about school, work, my daughters, my wife, stuff at church, etc. Busy? You bet. Too busy? No.

I believe we make time for the things that matter to us. Period.

I'm plenty busy - there are a dozen things I could be doing right now, but I'm blogging. Why? Because it's important to me. It's something I want to do and, therefore, I make the time to do it. I choose one thing over another thing because one thing is more important to me than another.

People who are too busy to call back, too busy to help out, whatever - I cry bullcrap. It is not that you are too busy - it is that calling back or sticking around to help isn't as important to you as some other thing you have chosen to do.

So I guess what I'd like is an end of the feel-bad-for-me-because-I-can't-do-X-because-I'm-so-busy schtick. Let's have some honesty, shall we? I mean, we all think of ourselves as honest people, don't we? So let's just say what we mean.

"Yeah, I saw your Facebook message but I don't really want to help with that service project so I ignored it and hoped it would go away."

"I saw you called but I knew you wanted me to help out with my daughter at Activity Days and since the main reason I take her there is to get away from her for an hour a week, I didn't call you back."

"I feel I'm too important to involve myself in your life."

"I don't like you enough for that."

"I'm comfortable the way I am and don't want to be made uncomfortable."

"I was trapped under a large piece of furniture and nearly died."

Things like that, you know?

Writing this, I realize it probably comes across as angry and uncharitable. Meh. Honestly, while I'm sure there are times when people are busy and can't do whatever, I think those times are a lot fewer and far between than they'd like you to think.

I think I'm just bothered because of an overall feeling of lack here. No one gives. No one goes out of their way. It just seems like so many people from this town and our church just really do the bare freaking minimum in terms of giving of themselves. They take-take-take and barely toss a thank you over their shoulder on their way out the door. I'm just kind of tired of it. Three years and no real friends to show for it for us or the girls makes Illinois seem a lot more like a corn-covered wasteland than a rich, happy place.

(And yes, I am aware of the "Maybe it's just you" and "You should just grow where you're planted" ways of thinking. I reject them.)

I worry a little about putting all this into words. Saying something aloud has a way of making it more real, more powerful. I worry that by saying aloud, "I am unhappy with this place," I will become more unhappy, you know? But after a long, kind of useless day at church, I just felt the need to say it, you know? For better or for worse.