Two Kinds of People

Dr. Leo Marvin: Are you married?

Bob Wiley: I'm divorced.

Dr. Leo Marvin: Would you like to talk about that?

Bob Wiley: There are two types of people in this world: Those who like Neil Diamond, and those who don't. My ex-wife loves him.

I never really liked the movie What About Bob? but I always thought that line was pretty funny. I find it absurd and kind of hilarious to break the world down into two kinds of people.

I was thinking about it the other night while driving home. Suzy's trusty Chapstick was in the little compartment between the cup holders as it always is, and it occurred to me that I really don't like Chapstick or lip balm of any sort. They feel waxy and gross, and I don't enjoy being covered in that any more than I would like being coated in a thin layer royal frosting. It just feels weird. Suzy, on the other hand, utterly relies on it. She has a Chapstick or Carmex in every room of the house and both cars.

So, it occurred to me that there are two types of people in this world: Those who like Chapstick, and those who don't.

There are also those who like the windows down and those who don't.

Those who believe in dipping their fries in the Frosty at Wendy's and those who don't.

Those who can agree that monster trucks are kind of stupid and those who cannot.

Those who devour the crawdads, head and all, and those who will not.

Those who think updating their Facebook status multiple times a day is awesome and those who do not.

Those who still use the expression "Oh snap!" and those who do not.

Those who wore overalls in the late 80s/early 90s and those who gratefully did not.

Those who eat to live and those who live to eat.

Those whose middle name is Danger and those whose is not. (Is that right?)

Those who can agree that Disneyland really is the happiest place on earth and those who cannot.

Those who do that voodoo so well and those who do not.

Feel free to add your own.