Book Report

Old Men at Midnight is not one of Potok's masterworks. It was his last book before succumbing to brain cancer in 2002 and it feels a little like a last gasp. Rather than being one whole novel, it's three linked novellas. I don't mind that necessarily. I like separate but linked stories - it's a pleasure to see how they accumulate, how they relate. However, the linkages between The Ark Builder, The War Doctor, and The Trope Teacher are thin. The man at the center of each story meets Davida Dinn. She's a young, soon-to-be college student in the first, an ambitious grad student in the second, and an established, famous author in the third. The problem is, Davida serves only to allow these men to tell their stories. She doesn't really do anything. She's just the frame - and, as such, she's kind of superfluous. It's as though Potok had these three stories that were too short to publish on their own, too short to publish in a journal or magazine and said, "well, maybe if I connect them somehow..."

This is not to say it's a bad book. I enjoyed it and read through it quite quickly. "The War Doctor," in particular, is quite good. It's sort of like a slice of Doctor Zhivago as told from the side of the bad guys. All three stories borrow from some of Potok's earlier, more successful stories, particularly "The Ark Builder." That one centers on a young man who is a combination of Asher Lev and his Holocaust-survivor wife.

Seeing too much repetition from a writer in terms of subject matter is a little sad. I get the idea of wanting to explore a world, a set of characters, certain thematic concerns, etc. but, at the same time, I feel like - you've done it, you've been there. Move on. Orson Scott Card, the science fiction, did some really wonderful stuff in his career but, in the last several years, it's just seemed like all he can do is return to the same well over and over again. I'm sure these third and fourth generation stories that take place in the same universe as Ender's Game are okay but, after a while, who cares?

Anyway, Old Men At Midnight was worth reading but certainly isn't on par with Potok's earlier books.

P.S. But I still have a signed copy of it. Nyah nyah.

Spring

I know the first day of spring officially already happened. But for me, the actual first day is when it hits 70 degrees or above.

Guess what?

If the National Weather Service is on its game (and I have every confidence it is - they hire all the real rock star meteorologists, I've heard) tomorrow is the first day of spring here in Tonica, Illinois.

74 degrees tomorrow and, crazily enough, 81 the next day.

Yay for us.

In other news, as it turns out, watching Kate Gosselin try to ballroom dance is actually just as excruciating as it was to watch her parent. I kind of wanted her to be good on Dancing With The Stars. I don't know why - I really don't like her on any level. Maybe it's because I wanted to find something to like about her. Alas. She's super bad. It's embarrassing to watch.

Other thoughts? You bet. Buzz Aldrin? WTH? The man is a legitimate American hero. WHY is he on this show? I'm all in favor of the unexpected contestants but I also believe some people are just above it. Buzz Aldrin ought to be one of them.

Also, the girl from Pussycat Dolls? She's a professional dancer for crying out loud. Lord knows, no one likes that bunch because of their singing. Why is she on this show that is supposed to be for amateurs? She got two tens on the second week of competition when others are getting fours and fives. Doesn't that sort of suggest an imbalance of some sort?

Anyway, I have things to say about recent revelations on Lost but they will have to wait. The newest episode is starting in less than five minutes. Can't write and watch at the same time.

Meow Mix

It's not that I'm anti-pet. We had dogs, parakeets, turtles, Guinea pigs, and a cat when I was growing up. I loved them and enjoyed having them around. The Dennis Brown family's last two dogs - Lionel the poodle and Buck the doofus - are legendary among the brothers.

So our absence of pets in the Mark Brown family has not been because I don't like them. I do. The real reason I've been hesitant about pets is that I'm too much of a softie. I don't like the idea of becoming attached to something that I know will probably die before I will. I don't like loving something that can get run over in the street, you know?

We had a cat in Twin Falls - the infamous Jackie Joe Johnson, the world's most psychotic, angry, inexplicable cat. One moment, he was sweet and friendly and affectionate. The next moment, he had his fangs sunk into our couch, our comforter, our feet, our HEARTS!

Our relocation to Michigan necessitated Jackie going to live with a nice family in the country. (I am not kidding. I'm not speaking figuratively. We found a nice family that lived in Hagerman and they needed a cat.) Since then, we've been pet free except for a series of fish I killed with startling regularity in Westland. (I named them all after members of 80s hair bands - Tico Torres, CC DeVille, etc. Maybe that's why they died.)

Well, that's all changed. A lady in our ward is moving to Colorado and needed to find a good home for her mellow, three-year old cat. We figured it already had its shots, its neutering, training in being around a baby, etc. and so why not?

So now we have a large, jet-black, sort of intimidating cat named Charlie stalking around our house, sniffing everything, alternately coming to us for affection and then bolting off in fear. He seems pretty kind and good-natured so that's good. He hasn't started destroying anything yet so, for now, our tender hearts are intact. Wish us luck with the new addition to our little family. Mark, Suzy, Maryn, Avery, Parker, and now Charlie Brown.

Spring Break Levity

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Nerd

(Celebrity?)

If I ended up standing in line at McDonalds behind Brad Pitt, I'd probably be excited. I'd tell friends and use the story at parties. If I shook Barack Obama's hand at a rally or something, I'd think of it as a big deal. I'm as interested in celebrity culture as the next kid raised on Entertainment Tonight.

However, for me, the people that I consider "famous" are writers. If I stood in line at McDonalds behind Kurt Vonnegut (which would be something considering the fact that he's dead), I'd be freaking out. If I got to shake Jeff Smith's hand or Brian K. Vaughan, I'd consider it a huge, huge deal. Because I'm a nerd.

When I attended the National Undergraduate Literature Conference at Weber State the first time as a college student, I went around for weeks telling people I met the 1993 winner of the Pulitzer Prize for fiction. The Pulitzer freaking Prize!

Later, when I met Norman Mailer and Tess Gallagher and Robert Hass and Alan Cheuse and Alice Sebold and Glenn David Gold and Antonya Nelson and Chitra Divakaruni and whoever else, I just felt fancy. Unless you're an English major, you probably haven't heard of half of the names I just named - but to me they were celebrities!

Even when some no-name, random poet would pass through Pocatello or Boise, I was always excited to go to their reading and buy their book just because - they were writers! They had written a book that someone had published! It all just seemed so glamorous to me.

So anyway, imagine my pleasure when, while browsing the cruddy selection of books at the Goodwill in Bloomington earlier today, I came across a signed, hardcover copy of Chaim Potok's Old Men at Midnight. Now, I'd never even heard of this book of his - but his Asher Lev books, The Chosen, and Zebra are among my very favorite in the universe. I love his work and was sad when I found out he'd passed away in 2002. I was sad because I knew he wouldn't be writing any more books for me to fall in love with. So to come across his signature (I assume it's his, the copy had one of those Barnes and Noble "Signed Copy" stickers on the dust jacket) in a book for a dollar twenty five was just sort of too good to be true. I'm excited to read it and my day was made a little bit brighter with this small, nerdy brush with fame.


(Celebrity!)

So here's a roll call question for you: who would you most like to find yourself standing next to in the line at McDonalds?

Nice

Yeah, Mother Nature likes to show us who's boss.

"First day of Spring?" she says. "What first day of Spring?" And she has it snow an inch. Yeah, I've spent the first day of spring inside watching snowflakes swirl around in the air. Sigh.

It's alright. The last couple of days here the tmperature was in the 60s so it's more likely we'll head toward that than keep seeing snow.

This coming week is Spring Break for me but not for the girls. I'll try to get some writing done for school, do a few things around the house, and generally chill out. I'm looking forward to it.

Razor Burned

A few months ago, I posted about things that are worth paying extra money for, the things for which you really get your money's worth. People made suggestions and we posted about toilet paper, shoes, kitchen knives, chocolate, etc.



I'd respectfully like to add something to the list: disposable razors. I bought an off-brand razor last week and tried to shave with it. It was half the price of a Gillette or whatever but, believe you me my friends, it was not worth the savings. It was like trying to mow a lawn with a rubber spatula. I might as well have been running one of Parker's plush toys over my shaving cream-covered face. Not only did it not do the most basic duty of a razor (y'know, cut facial hair) but every time I tapped it on the sink to get all whatever few, paltry hairs it did cut out of the blade, the whole blade fell off. One actually fell down the drain and disappeared into oblivion. After shaving for two minutes, I had to crack open the box of replacements blades I'd bought.

All in all, it was totally lame. Those are going in the back of the drawer and I sprang for a new Gillette Mach 3. Some things are just worth the money.

It's a good thing I got a decent razor too - Suzanne was getting tired of my facial hair.

Live Blogging the Stomach Flu

Not really. I wouldn't do that. No one needs that kind of detail.

What I can tell you is that Avery got sick on Sunday, stayed home from school Monday, and we thought we were in the all clear by last night. Not so. This morning at 2:30, I woke up and felt so bad I wished the roof would collapse and crush me to death so I'd be put out of my misery. That particular episode lasted until about 4:30 when my fragile, little body finally gave out and I fell asleep on the couch. Not before Maryn woke up to throw up and Suzanne told me that she wasn't feeling so hot herself.

This morning after her 9 am feeding, Parker puked everywhere - like she coated the whole universe in formula, you know? So we are officially the sickest house in the world right now. Avery stayed home to act as our gofer. I don't want her to get reinfected but, at the same time, we need someone who isn't utterly incapacitated to help out. She's a good kid.

On a less gross, less infectious note, I've been thinking about a meme. I know they're kind of lame and 2008 and yet I love them. I call roll using a different question every day. Instead of just answering "here," students have to answer a quick question about themselves. Some students seem to kind of hate it and roll their eyes but mostly it seems to be something students look forward to. So here is a meme using the roll call questions I use each semester (Give or take. Some questions get retired, some get refined, some are occasion specific.)

1. What is your middle name? Sheffield

2. What is your nickname? As a boy, it was Mark the Shark. These days it's, "Why haven't you done the dishes yet?"

3. When you were a kid, what did you want to grow up to be? An architect.

4. Name one thing you're really good at. Picking out patterns and themes in movies.

5. If you had one superpower, what would it be? Flying. Or possibly the ability to instantly grade papers. Or spontaneously produce money.

6. What's the last book you read all the way through? Double Indemnity by James M. Cain.

7. What's the last movie you saw in the theater? Avatar.

8. Name one song you think everybody should listen to. "American Music" by the Violent Femmes.

9. Name one guilty pleasure. Watching Brothers and Sisters on Sunday nights. Having "Party in the U.S.A." by Miley Cyrus on my Ipod. Watching Teen Titans reruns with my kids. Comics. Action figures.

10. Name one thing you're terrified of. Snakes. Cannot handle freaking snakes. No legs, no shoulders. Ew.

11. What is the sickest you've ever been? Cancer, radiation treatment and insufficient anti-nausea medicine. That was a very bad day. We got better medicine the next day.

12. Are you in love? Yes.

13. Mountains or beach? Today, I think the beach.

14. Name one thing that makes you happy. Watching Parker splash in the bath like a manic Irish step-dancer. Going to the movie theater. Peaceful drives on sunny days.

15. Who is your celebrity crush? Other than Barbara Stanwyck, I'd have to say Tina Fey. Maybe Selma Hayak.

16. If they made a movie of your life, who would play you? I've written about this before. Apparently, according to my students, it would be Seth Rogen.

17. Name a pet peeve. Students who Facebook during class.

18. Where would you go on your dream vacation? If I were in a cultured, sentimental mood, we'd go to the Czech Republic so Suzanne could show me around. If I just wanted to relax, I'd go to southern California and hang out by the water.

19. What was your first love? (Not a person - just thing you remember being really, really important when you were a kid.) Specterman, a Japanese import show about a mild-mannered guy who transforms into the powerful Specterman when there's trouble. It. Was. Aweseome.

20. Name one person who broke your heart. Antonia Decker. Sunni Sorenson.

21. Name one thing you do when no one is looking. In the car, I talk to myself a lot.

22. What's next? Need to get the taxes done. Need to finish putting stuff together for the campus literary journal. Need to stop being sick.

So, that's most of them. Feel free to cut and paste and apply to your blog or to answer in the comments section here.

Home Again, Home Again

So I spent from last Thursday until this last Monday in Idaho and Utah. I had a paper accepted to the annual conference of the Association of Mormon Letters. I managed to get my work to pay for my flight, rental car, meals, etc. and I figured it was a good deal all the way around. Not only would the presentation be a nice notch on the ol' vitae to show I'm still academically active, but, more importantly, I'd get to see family and friends and spend a few days near the mountains.



It all went wonderfully according to plan. The conference itself was great. This was the third time I've attended it and I think this was the best so far. The presentations were smart, thought-provoking, and well-done. We screened 1931's Corianton: An Aztec Love Story which is most probably the first "Mormon movie" made. It's spectacularly bad but extremely rare and a real unique cultural artifact.



I heard some great presentations on Mormon lit and had some terrific conversations with really cool people. (Angela Hallstrom, Stephen Carter, Jack Harrell, Kathy Soper, Darlene Young, I'm looking at you.)



In addition to all the conferency goodness, I got to spend a day with Uncle Tony, as my children refer to him. Best friend of 20 years Tony Mosier and I spent Friday hanging out in Salt Lake, visiting the lovely and talented Tawnya and Tracy, seeing Shutter Island, eating chicken wings, etc. It was an excellent day.

The main event, however, was Sunday morning when I showed up on my parents' doorstep without them knowing I was even in the same timezone. You see, I've known for a couple of months that I was making this trip. But I thought it would be a fun surprise so I didn't mention it to Mom or Dad. I didn't even tell my kids until a few days before I left because I didn't want them spilling the beans on the phone to Grandma and Grandpa.

Well, mission accomplished. My dad opened the door and had to stare at me for a good five or six seconds before he realized who in the world I was. My mom hopped out of her bed (which is impressive all on its own) and gave me a big hug. We went to church together and then had a big family dinner. My nieces and nephews were all awesome to play with and just generally cute. We played for most of the day but then they went to bed and the grownups had to get down to serious business: an online game of the Brown family favorite, Acquire. Jason and Dylan logged on from Moscow and we had a nice time trash-talking one another over the chat function of the game.

Early the next morning, I drove to SLC and flew back to Illinois. Though I had an excellent time while I was gone, I was glad to come home and see all the ladies in my life. Suzanne says being home alone with three children is exponentially harder than being home with two. She held up admirably and I really appreciate her supporting my trip.

Anyway, I return to a mountain of papers and things left to be done. Sigh. No rest for the weary.