Twenty Five Ways of Looking at Portage, Indiana

Portage, Indiana is....

the amber-colored, unwashed ashtray in a 40-year smoker's house.
the sheen of ear grease on the screen of your smart phone.
a piece of corn pulp wedged between your two front teeth.
month-old flypaper in the corner of a desert gas station.
a charlie horse after unexpectedly having to sprint across the street.
an out-of-order sign on the elevator door of a six story building.
a radio station with a weak fuzzy, weak signal.
a hailstorm when you're a mile from the car.
a city-sized episode of Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
a mustard-covered sheet of wax paper blown out of the trash.
a birthday party held at White Castle.
a sleep-deprivation headache.
like throwing up in the snow on a first date.
an old tattoo that's lost its shape and turned into just a blue blob on a sailor's forearm.
a phlegmy cough that won't dry up.
a McDonald's dumpster on a 100 degree August afternoon.
that one shoe sitting on the side of the road on Highway 20.
a tennis racket with no strings.
Saturday mid-morning television.
a can of Aquanet left on a drugstore shelf since 1991.
an ABC After School Special about the dangers of dropping out.
a poodle with stomach flu.
a lukewarm, generic brand can of cola.
an ingrown toenail in new shoes.
microwave pizza in a cheap hotel room at 11:30 at night.