Tuesday, August 31, 2010

A Concern About the Upcoming Dancing With The Stars Season

Michael Bolton AND David Hasselhoff on the same TV show? Both of them dancing in fringed shirts? Both of them vying for the coveted Mirror Ball Trophy? Really?

Isn't there some kind of legal limit to how much late 80s/early 90s craptacular testosterone can exist in one place? I mean, it's like some kind of perfect storm - Knight Rider, Baywatch, "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay," "Time, Love, and Tenderness," Baywatch Nights, and dating Nicolette Sheridan -- I mean, eeek, right? All of that combined with the inherent cheesiness of celebrity ballroom dancing? I'm not sure if I'm really happy and giddy or if I'm filled with profound, existential dread. Probably more the latter than the former. In fact, the more I think about it, the more I'm sure it's the latter. And why? Take a look:

This guy


aaaaannnnnd this guy.


Gives you the chills, right? And not the good kind. Not the "ooooh, the concert is about to start" kind of chills. No. The feverish, infected, last-rites kind of chills. The "Go toward the light" chills. You hear what I'm saying?

10 comments:

Paul and Linda said...

Wait !!! Where is the a-ged or otherwise important nat'l hero in this list ?

(Bolton has the personality of grass growing so Tom B. will have trouble w/the interviews, and Hasselhoff thinks he is one funny guy so that will be fodder for Len !)

Shalee said...

It's not just the men that are scaring me...the whole cast is a train wreck of near epic proportions. Yikes.

Dan said...

My only question is this: Why did you choose a picture of the Hoff with no shirt? Was that really needed?

Suzy said...

totally unecessary!

Karen said...

I dunno Mark. Because of this post I looked up who was dancing... I've only watched one season of DWTS.... weirder than Hasselhoff and Bolton is Bristol Palin. What is that allabout? Makes me never want to watch DWTS ever.

Mark Brown said...

Karen,

Normally, if I see that anyone named "Palin" is going to be on a show, I make sure I'm out of the house and far away from where I might catch a glimpse.

However, you lack the sangfroid that I have. I'll watch ol' Bristol (and Florence, Michael, David, and the rest of the gang) because it's a pleasure to see unexpected people succeed and because it's even more pleasurable to see people like Bristol Palin flounder and fail. Moo ha ha!

Karen said...

I will readily admit I have never had the sangfroid you posess...

PS - I had to look up what sangfroid was.. just another example that I don't have it!

Mark Brown said...

Nope, you do not have sangfroid nor have you ever. It is one of the many things that I have always loved about you. It is also one of the many things that makes you a way better person than me.

Mark Brown said...

Karen,

Some English teacher I am! Schadenfreude is the word I meant, not sangfroid. You're a mother of teenagers - you have more sangfroid than I ever will. On the other hand, I have more schadenfreude than you ever will.

P.S. I excuse myself as an English teacher because one word is French and the other is German.

Karen said...

Wow. I've learned two new words this week. Had to look up the German one too.... I have to disagree with you about my teenagers - mine seem to make me lose my sangfroid and bring out the schadenfreude in me. Hmmmmm. As for you, you'll always have sangfroid, you're raising daughters!