The other day I got tagged with a survey by my friend Tracy. Problem is, I've already done the survey she tagged me with. So to liven things up, I'm going to alter some of the questions to make them more interesting.
1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? becomes
IF YOU COULD HAVE A DIFFERENT NAME (FIRST OR LAST), WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I've always been drawn to really solid, traditional, very General Authority sounding last names like Richards or Stephens. I would be happy to be called "Jones" as either a first or a last name.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? becomes
WHERE IS THE MOST EMBARRASSING PLACE YOU HAVE EVER CRIED?
In the dining room of the Pocatello Papa Kelsey's the afternoon I found out my grandpa had died.
3. Do you like your handwriting? becomes
On a scale of 1-10 (1 being most legible and 10 being completely illegible) how legible is your handwriting?
7 or 8.
4 . WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? becomes
WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Anything involving the word "loaf.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? becomes
ARE YOU THE PARENT YOU THOUGHT YOU WOULD BE WHEN YOU WERE GROWING UP?
Yeah, more or less I am. There are definitely things I would have done differently in the past and things I can and should change now - but generally I think I do okay.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? becomes
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU MET THAT REMINDED YOU OF YOURSELF?
I don't know about the last person necessarily but I do remember meeting this kid in the MTC who in his personality and demeanor and speech could have been my twin. I hated him.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? becomes
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PIECE OF SARCASM?
When somebody asks me a nosy question that I don't want to answer and I innocently say, "Oh, didn't I tell you?" and they say, "No," and I say, "Huh, must be none of your business then." I've used it many a time.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? becomes
DO YOU REMEMBER HAVING YOUR TONSILS/WISDOM TEETH REMOVED?
Tonsils - no. I have a photo of myself at age 4 after getting out of the hospital but no actual memories. Wisdom teeth - yes. Sort of. I remember going in. I remember taking work off. But for the experience itself, I was blissfully unaware.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? becomes
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO GET YOU TO BUNGEE JUMP?
A minimum of a thousand dollars.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? becomes
WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE CEREAL?
Anything with clusters. Or an absence of sugar.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? becomes
WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK PEOPLE NOTICE ABOUT YOU?
My voice maybe. Possibly my height.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? becomes
WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT YOURSELF?
My ability to do impersonations. It practically saved me as a young teenager.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? becomes
WHO ARE YOU GLAD IS OUT OF YOUR LIFE?
Well, she's not gone yet but I have high hopes for Sarah Palin.
20. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? becomes
WHAT WILL BE THE NEXT THING YOU EAT?
I'm planning on lunch out - so possibly a Casey's Burger with fries. Maybe cheap Chinese food from The Great Wall.
23. FAVORITE SMELLS? becomes
LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS?
Wet eggs sitting in the sink after breakfast, ear wax, certain CK perfumes.
24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? becomes
IF YOU COULD BE TALKING TO ANYONE AT ALL ON THE PHONE RIGHT NOW, WHO WOULD IT BE?
If not Suzanne, then probably Tony. He never fails to make me laugh.
32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? becomes
NEXT MOVIE YOU PLAN ON SEEING?
I have to finish Howard Hawks' The Big Sleep. Honestly, I'd like to see You Don't Mess With the Zohan. I don't know what's wrong with me.
36. FAVORITE DESSERT? becomes
NAME ONE DESSERT YOU'D RATHER GO WITHOUT.
Any kind of pie with fruit or berries in it. Yuck.
39. What book are you reading now? becomes
What book do you wish you read but haven't?
I still need to finish Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell. Because I'm an English guy, I wish I had read Moby Dick.
43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? becomes
BILLY JOEL OR NEIL DIAMOND?
The Neil, of course. But Billy is good. Nothing against Billy.
So there. A little alteration for a Monday afternoon. Feel free to take and answer these. Or to make your own questions up. If there's one thing Sarah Palin has taught us so far, it's that if you don't like the question you're asked, you can always just answer the one you wish you were asked.
6 comments:
#3 - Dispute that answer, give it a 9.97 at least!
#8 - Don't think were 4 for tonsils, were you? Thought you were younger than that.
#9 Minimum of a thousand for a bungee jump -- ten times that maybe.
#43 - Glad you have such good taste. Jason just sent us home with a new Jazz Singer CD -- BONUS!
Problem with #24 is I don't answer my phone. J/K. I do have a reputation to uphold after all.
I take exception with #4 because of my long-standing love and defense of that love with olive loaf !
And as to #17, Mr. Jones Jones, I choose to ask why you have not reviewed "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes" ?
Had to laugh at the Sarah Palin thing. Its amazing how a person can become so much less intelligent when they open their mouth.
Are you saying you'd never accept an invitation to eat a meatloaf dinner with peach pie at the White House with Sarah Palin and Billy Joel as the musical guest?
Jeeze, Karen. Could you describe a more unpleasant scenario? It reminds me of the old Bloom County cartoon where Opus's new girlfriend, Lola Granola, announces she's inviting an old ex-boyfriend, the jet-fighter flying Bart Savagewood, over for dinner. As Opus is freaking out, Lola assures him there are worse people to have over for dinner. Opus, practically foaming at the mouth, says, "Worse? Who? Hitler? Cannibals? 500 Elvis impersonators?!"
Sarah Palin, meatloaf, and peach pie. Eeesh.
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