Shuffling Along

I am not a gadget-loving kind of guy generally. I only got a cell phone three years ago, I don't have a Blackberry, I think Blue-Tooths look stupid, etc. However, I love my iPod. I think it's practically a miracle that I can carry around my entire music collection in my pocket. I mean, it's barely bigger than a deck of cards.

Anyway, one function of the iPod is the "shuffle." It randomly selects and plays from the 1803 songs I've uploaded. It's a nice little feature when I'm mowing the lawn or just wanting to hear something I haven't consciously chosen to listen to in a while. What's funny about it is how it will play this great song one minute and play something lame and uninteresting next. You never know what you're going to get.

Well, my old friend Jeremy P. posted a meme on his Facebook page encouraging friends to set their iPods to shuffle and record the first fifteen songs that come up. No skipping or cheating. Jeremy does a radio show in Portland that focuses entirely on new and independent music so I had never even heard of a single one of his fifteen songs/artists. Looking at his songs and the playlists my friend Tracy posts on her blog and having listened to at least one mix CD by the Admiral, I know that, by comparison, I'm incredibly mainstream and pop oriented. My musical tastes are not avant garde or even that interesting. After years of worrying about not being cool enough, I am not fine with my top 40 tastes.

And so, with that little personal affirmation out of the way, here are the first fifteen songs and artists to come out of my iPod on shuffle.

Human by the Killers
Rush (NYC Club Version) by Big Audio Dynamite
Morning (Love Sonnet xxvii) Pablo Neruda, read by Sting
Cry Freedom by Dave Matthews Band
Here's to the Meantime by Grace Potter and the Nocturnals
Bad Boy by the Backbeat Band
Down in Mary's Land by Mary Chapin Carpenter
I Just Don't Know What To Do With Myself by Nicky Holland
Always On My Mind by Michael Buble
Cryin' Shame by Lyle Lovett
Finlandia by Indigo Girls
I'm On My Way by Rich Price
Diggin' a Path by Rebecca Scott
The Meddler by The High Strung
Just a Touch by R.E.M.
The Tears of a Clown by Smokey Robinson and the Miracles

It's not too bad, I don't think. Some Motown, some country, some folk, some alt rock, some Sting readin' some Chilean poetry. Maybe I'm more eclectic than I think. (Probably not.)

233. WTH?

More than anything, I was surprised that I'd lost a pound and a half when I weighed myself this morning. Yesterday I had a double cheeseburger and fries for dinner - not the most slimming meal, you know? Plus, I haven't really done anything physical since Saturday. (Instead of using our riding mower, I used our push-mower to take care of the incline on our side yard. It's kinda steep and it's not really safe or easy to mow it with the rider. By using the push-mower, I work up a sweat and I keep myself from having a rider tip over on me and chop me to bits. It's a win-win.)

Even though I was surprised this morning, I don't really place much value on fluctuations of a couple of pounds. I've weighed myself enough to know that the number on the scale depends on everything from the time of day to what I ate for lunch. Earlier this week, I was up to 238.5 and now I'm down five pounds without really doing anything. I'm not going to get real excited one way or the other until I'm closer to leaving the 230 range.

Incidentally, my brother Dave called and said he wants to lose a few pounds too. So we've entered into a pact that we will both lose ten pounds by the end of September. Now not only am I accountable to the Internet masses (or at least the six invited readers on this blog), but now Dave is too. Hee hee. It's time to thin out, bro.

Sunday

It's a lazy Sunday afternoon here. Suzanne and Maryn are reading and Avery is napping. Suzanne asked if Avery was really sleeping or if she was faking. Maryn authoritatively answered: "Avery would never fake being asleep with her mouth half open."

Suze came to an hour of church today for the first time in a month. She left after Sacrament meeting but came home feeling hot, claustrophobic, and a little nauseated. It was warm in the meetinghouse and someone sitting near us was wearing enough perfume to raise the national alert level to orange because of possible chemical attack.

Ever since last week when we got the good news that her cervix had thickened back up, Suze has been up more, doing more, but we're both thinking now that she needs to go back to taking it really, really easy. We're still two weeks away from her not being required to be Lifeflighted to Peoria if she goes into labor. Even then, that only puts her at 34 weeks and we'd much prefer it if she'd make it to at least 36 weeks.

(I will never be entirely comfortable talking about my wife's cervix to other people.)



I watched The Lady Eve by Preston Sturgess the other day. It was funny and charming but Henry Fonda was not really cut out as a comedic leading man. I get that his character was supposed to be stiff and naive but he didn't have the charm that would have justified Barbara Stanwyck's character falling in love with him.

After I watch Sullivan's Travels and On the Beach (which are sitting on top of the DVD player as we speak, quietly wondering why they've had to sit there all week), I'll watch 42nd Street, Top Hat, Pinky, Leave Her to Heaven, and Quo Vadis. Then I will have officially watched more than my fair share of classical Hollywood films and I can turn my Netflix queue to things like The Incredible Hulk and Brothers and Sisters on DVD.

A member of our ward mixed us up some sloppy joes for dinner so I guess I'll go heat that up.

Time Traveling Dinosaurs Attacked By Killer Locusts

The Admiral and I used to play a game called "Good Movie, Bad Movie." We'd go to Horkleys, the local video stop in Rexburg before Hollywood Video, and one of us would be in charge of picking out a good, quality film that we'd enjoy watching and one of us would be in charge of picking out the stinkiest, stanky, stank-bomb of a movie that we'd enjoy making fun of. It was good times. Sometimes the so-called "good" movie turned out to be lame, sometimes the "bad" movie wasn't bad enough to make fun of and, instead, was just mediocre. But most times we took great joy in holding our own personal Mystery Science Theater 3000 session and seeing which of us could be more witty. (I have to confess - usually, it was me.)

Some part of me still finds perverse joy in the concept of the bad movie - the film so bad, it's hilarious just to think about. I was thinking about this last night as I was flipping through the guide on the Dish and saw that, for the 497th time this month, Patrick Swayze's Roadhouse was playing on CMT. The movie itself is bad, real bad, but the description in the guide raised it (or lowered it, I guess) to a new level of laughable lameness. It was something like, "Hired to clean up a Missouri bar, a PhD bouncer woos the local doctor and tames the whole town." PhD bouncer? Woo? Tames the whole town? You can't tell me that description doesn't smack of awful goodness.



The SciFi Network (or SyFy as it has now been inexplicably rebranded) has these themed weekend suckathons - six movies in a row about dinosaurs running amok, six movies about killer insects, six movies about time travel, six movies about time traveling dinosaurs facing off with killer insects, etc. The movies, when I'm allowed to tune into them, are always bad. They star Lorenzo Lamas or Casper Van Dien. They're all filmed in the producer's backyard. They all look like the special effects were produced by the AV club at the local high school. Bad. But the descriptions make them hilarious: "Backpacking college students accidentally awaken a rock monster which ravages the countryside" or "A team of mercenaries is unprepared when attacked by a swarm of irradiated locusts." Awesome, right?

Anyway, it got me to thinking about some of the poorer films I've ever seen. There's all kinds of bad - something expensive and well produced that's morally bankrupt and spiritually empty (not to mention boring) like Kiera Knightley's The Duchess. There's mid-grade, B-list, just-trying-to-be-like-everybody-else date schlock like Can't Hardly Wait, Sweet Home Alabama, Love Actually, etc. And then there's C-grade, under-funded, how-did-this-ever-get-made garbage on film. From this particular category, I choose A Sound of Thunder.

Even though it stars Ed Burns, a respectable B-list actor, and Ben Kingsley (he was Ghandi for crying out loud), this movie was one of the worst things ever put on film. it's a loose adaptation of a Ray Bradbury short story. The idea is that, in the future, tourists can travel back in time. However, the rule is they can't change anything in the past. Naturally, someone does - one guy steps off the suspended path and smashes a butterfly 65 million years ago. Because of that one, small change, the future alters dramatically and everything goes to hell. It's a cool idea and, in Bradbury's story, it's left open and ominous enough that the reader can fill in the blanks with his imagination. The film version looks terrible, makes no sense, features Ghandi in some kind of white-shock fright wig, and, most importantly, has a climax that involves gorillas crossed with dinosaurs. Yep, you read that right, gorilla-saurs. Bad.



According to IMDB, the movie cost 53 million to make (where that money went, I have no idea - maybe Ben Kingsley required his trailer to be made out of solid gold or something) but only made 8 million worldwide. On Rotten Tomatoes, the film got an overall rating of 8%. That's out of a 100, in case you're wondering.

So it's the kind of movie that would be perfect to watch with the Admiral or my brothers because it's so bad, it's good to make fun of. Sadly, I watched it alone. Anyway, I'm curious - what's the worst movie you've ever seen? It doesn't have to be fun-bad. It can be just bad-bad - but I'd love to know what movie you saw that you would even recommend to an enemy.

I Want to Lose Ten Pounds

Is that so wrong?

I'm just sort of curious as to whether or not I could do it. I've never consciously tried to lose weight. For most of my life, I haven't needed to. But I've been hovering in the 230s for the last couple of years and it's just sort of bugging me. I'd rather be in the low 220s rather than the mid-to-high 230s, you know?

So, could I do it without really trying that much? I wonder if I ate bigger breakfasts, more reasonable dinners, didn't periodically pig out on half cartons of ice cream or 10 Oreos at a time, and got my heart rate up once a day, could I lose ten pounds?

Hmm. It's something to think about. The only real obstacles in my path are my utter lack of self-discipline where food is concerned and a long history of being able to eat what, when, and however much I want. Still, if I'm not utterly depriving myself but rather just not utterly indulging myself, should it be that hard? Maybe that's a stupid question.

I'm not going to post pictures of myself with no shirt on or anything like that so don't worry. I'm not going to go all Mrs. Furious on you and foist my pasty whiteness on the unsuspecting Internet masses. But I will tell you that I weighed myself this morning first thing and I was 235 lbs.

The only thing I'm not sure of is some kind of time frame. People with personal trainers and nothing to do but get their flabby butts kicked all day by Gillian Michaels on The Biggest Loser can drop ten pounds in seven days. I have a life and no trainer and no one to break my wrist if I reach for the pan of brownies so I think I should give myself more time. Don't know how much.

I will mention my progress (or lack thereof) once week, just to keep myself honest. But believe me, this ain't gonna be no gettin'-skinny blog. I've got more important things to talk about. Like comics. And movies. And silly things my daughters say. And earwigs. Lots more important.

P.S. The Body Mass Index thingee is a bunch of crap. According to it, I'd have to be 185 pounds to be considered "normal." As it is, I fall into the "obese" category, narrowly missing out on the less offensive but still not great "overweight" category. 185 pounds? That's less than I weighed when I got married - and I looked like a bunch of rags caught on a broomstick when I got married.

You're Bugging Me

I mentioned the other day how much I enjoy living around all the wildlife here in Illinois. Idaho was so high and dry, there just wasn't much around and so it's thrill to see deer, foxes, rabbits, etc. However, one thing about the high desert of Idaho is that is was more or less bug free. We had ants, mosquitoes, and the occasional hobo spider but, other than that, insects just weren't a problem.

Here in the land of humidity and heat, things are different. In the last two weeks, I've had to pay someone with serious chemicals to come and kill the earwigs in the house and the Japanese beetles in the trees. The earwigs were everywhere - especially downstairs and it was horrible. It reminded me of my time in Mississippi and Louisiana when I would turn on the lights and roaches would scatter. Earwigs aren't as bad as roaches, of course, but they're still pretty hideous. I was happy when, after the spraying, they started to turn up dead.


The Japanese beetles started to eat the heck out of the birch tree in the front and a bush in the back. The problem, I've figured out, is that our neighbors' trees are all completely swamped in the buggers. I can have my landscape sprayed but if there are armies of the beetles next door, there isn't a lot I can do. Sigh.



The leaves on my tree and bush look like this:



According to the amazing knowledge machine that is the Internet, there are some pretty easy home remedies to help curb the little beasts so we'll see if I can save our foliage. The season for beetles is June and July so hopefully they'll abate in a couple of weeks one way or the other.

"It's Out! It's Out!"

No, I never set out to be a paltry, once-a-week blogger. No, I always fancied the idea of being a daily poster - someone with the the determination and time to write something new and interesting each day. Well, that's an unrealistically high goal and was even when I was teaching at YDB in Detroit and had time to kill. But I usually managed a bare minimum of three posts a week and usually more.

Now that I teach at a job that actually requires both prep and bringing work home, things are a little more complicated. Now that my QE is looming just a couple of months away, blogging is more complicated still. Now that I have a wife who is forbidden to cook, clean, or do laundry, maintaining a blog is pretty far back on the priority list. Y'know?

Nevertheless, I won't abandon my loyal six readers. The blog must go on!

The big news is the same news. Suzanne is still on bedrest. She's at 30 weeks right now and we're hoping and praying she'll make it the next six weeks and get Baby X all the way to term. Neither of us relish the idea of her or the baby being Lifeflighted to Peoria for an emergency, premature birth. Suze feels fine and Baby is very active and energetic. Some nights we'll just watch Suzanne's belly closely and see it move and change shape as X turns this way or that way just under the surface.

My summer classes are going very well for the most part. Summer students are more invested generally than the regular Fall/Spring folks and so they're fun to work with. The compressed schedule is kicking my butt though. The paper turnaround has to be quick because, if I don't get them back within three or four days, I'll end up having two different assignments to grade and get back all at once. Gotta keep the papers moving off the desk because they're always more coming in. Today is mid-term so everything from here on out is the downhill slide. I handed out grades and only had one student freak out. Out of forty three people, that's probably pretty good.

QE prep is in the toilet frankly. I've watched all the movies I need to (although I have 9 or 10 more in my Netflix queue just to be on the safe side) but my reading is woefully behind. I have fifteen or so big books that I need to get to and I just feel like I can't. There are papers to grade, kids to play with, the house to clean, wife's feet to rub, etc. I suppose I could be reading right now - but, after more than a week of looking at the same post, aren't you glad I'm not? Suzanne suggested that I treat Friday mornings like a regular workday (I don't teach on Fridays) and leave the house to go read. It's a great idea and I think I'll do it - but it will have to start next week because tomorrow we're going to Peoria for Suzanne's appointment with her pre-term labor specialist. Busy, busy, busy.

Well, that's probably enough of an update for now. There's laundry waiting, grocery shopping to do, and Maryn just pulled a tooth so she's wandering the house holding toilet paper to her gums and wailing, "It's out! It's out!" Clearly, there are situations that require my attention.

Little Known Facts About Illinois

The State insect is the earwig.
Citizens get a tax credit for facial piercings.
The most popular perfume is Skoal.
Every three days citizens are required to wear a hoodie with some small town sports team's name on it.
Being able to eat a plate of fried chicken and ravioli is a requirement for residency.
Citizens get a tax credit if their surname has more than four syllables and ends in a vowel.
Hitting a deer with your car is a legal form of hunting.
Most city halls are equipped with scuba equipment for citizens when the humidity gets particularly bad.
The official State song is "Cat Scratch Fever" by Ted Nugent - just because.
The state constitution isn't written on paper - it's actually tattooed on the back of a welder from Joliet named Rob.

I Prefer

Years ago, I read an article about the filming of James Cameron's Titanic. The article focused on how long and arduous the shoot was and how close Leonardo Dicaprio and Kate Winslet became. In particular, I remember Kate Winslet telling about a lunch break and how Dicaprio was exhausted and was on the verge of falling asleep. When the craft services person came around to get their food order, Leo just said, "Ask Kate. She knows what I want." The idea was that they knew each other so well, they knew one another's preferences.


"Your breath stinks, Leo."
"You shouldn't have ordered onions on my sandwich then, Kate."

I was thinking about it this morning when I was making breakfast for the girls. I knew Suzanne was awake in the bedroom but I didn't bother making her anything. Why? Because, after ten and a half years of marriage, I know she doesn't like to eat breakfast right when she wakes up and I know she especially doesn't like the idea of breakfast in bed. (Crumbs, don't you know.)

I started thinking about all the little preferences of her that I know about.

Suzanne prefers to be called Suzy. (Except by me. I call her Suzanne.)
Suzanne prefers to drink water that is only tap cold. She doesn't like really cold water.
Suzanne will eat some cooked onions but can't stand the taste, texture, and smell of raw onions.
Suzanne doesn't like perfume or cologne.
Suzanne loves labeled, organized plastic bins.
Suzanne prefers wheat bread to white.
Suzanne prefers that her sandwiches be cut in half lengthwise.
Suzanne prefers silver jewelry to gold.
Suzanne doesn't like dangly earrings.
Suzanne can't stand clutter.
Suzanne doesn't like other people's feet. (Including mine.)
Suzanne doesn't like talking on the phone.
Suzanne loves salty snacks.
Suzanne wants to be left alone when she cooks.
Suzanne loves smelly lotion and candles.

Those are just a few things. So now I challenge my readers to post a comment about one small preference of your spouse, significant other, family member, etc. What do you know about them that no one else knows?

P.S. As I was searching for the image above, I came across this and it made me laugh:

Bedrest

Because Suzanne has already written about it in great detail (and at great length), there's no need for me to reinvent the wheel with this little bit of info. So I have cut and pasted from her post for the benefit of the few people who read my blog but not hers:

"The news is still a little fresh, but I thought this was the best way to let all of my family and friends know what's going on with the pregnancy. I had a doctor's appt with my maternal fetal specialists this morning. I took the girls, they were excited to see the baby on the ultrasound for the first time. Baby Girl has not been enjoying these ultrasounds (I've been having them every 2 weeks since about 20 weeks gestation). Every time they try and get a shot of her face, she either turns away or puts her little arms and hands over her face. The doctor even did a close-up on her mouth because he thought that maybe she was sucking her fingers, but no...she was covering her face. Funny girl already. Anyway, the ultrasound went normally and she is growing and things are fine. She is up to around 3 lbs, and the length couldn't be measured because she is all curled up now.

After the normal belly sonogram, they did the cervical length measurement, which not to get too graphic with y'all, but this one involves "the probe". The girls were not thrilled about having to be present for this portion of the appt. They were shielding their eyes and Maryn was even covering her ears (she later told me she thought I was going to scream like they do on "Baby Story". I guess I have some more explaining to do...) Anyway, they took the measurement and what is considered "normal" at this point in my pregnancy would be a "4". That is how long the cervix is before it thins and you start to dilate. I've been at a 4 this whole time. I was at a 4 on June 16 (my last appt.). Today it was a 2.4. Yep. Not good. He was quite surprised, as was I.

He asked me what I'd been doing over the past couple weeks, and I guess looking back I've been doing more than I should. Physically I've been doing more--we went garage saling on Saturday, we went hiking on Monday, I've been rearranging things in the house to get the baby's room ready. But I've also been stressed emotionally--I think I mentioned in my last post that there have been a few hormonal outbursts and more tears than I'd like to admit. But I didn't think that any of this was above and beyond the call of a normal pregnancy. Silly me.

The Dr. is a specialist for a reason. His job is to prevent premature labor. So in light of that, he officially diagnosed me with preterm labor and ordered me to bed rest. There are a few conditions. He says that if I'm super careful this week and come back in a week and things are the same, I can continue the rest of my pregnancy on "semi-bed-rest" which means I don't have to live my life reclined, but still have to limit my exertion and movement significantly. But if things aren't better and my cervical length is shorter, I will be on permanent bedrest and if things get any worse than that, may have to be hospitalized.

The goal now is to get me to 32 weeks gestation (but obviously beyond that as well). Anything before that is too risky for the baby...he informed me of how risky and it gives me chills. I certainly don't want that to happen. I guess I'm still a little stunned and not really digesting the reality of the situation. I'm not supposed to stand or sit for any long period of time. I'm supposed to be reclined to take pressure off of the cervix, and preferably be laying down on my left or right side like all of the time. I can get up to use the bathroom, eat, and shower but that's about it. I asked him about church. He said "not this week". So basically it's the couch or my bed for me for the next 7 days...at least. Hopefully after that I can go back to "semi-bed rest" where I can maybe sit at the computer rather than lay and try and type on the lap-top (this is hard!) We'll see.

The Dr. told the girls they'd have to start pitching in more at home. He asked them if they could cook anything and Avery informed him that he was her Dad's "sous-chef" when he makes cookies and brownies. Maryn told him she could make a sandwich and pour milk. He smiled and my life kind of flashed before my eyes a little bit. They are really going to have to grow up in the next couple months. It's probably a good thing, they'll need to be more independent when the baby comes, but I feel badly that they will have to take on so much responsibility. Oh man, here come the emotions!!

Anyway, not to make this a novel or anything (I don't really have anything else to do now anyway, hum dee dum), but I just thought I would let you know what's going on. I really think we'll be fine. Seriously. Looking on the bright side of things, the girls are old enough that I don't have to chase them around the house and they can wipe their own behinds. It's not like I need help with them. And Mark's summer schedule is becoming a blessing in disguise. He's teaching what's considered "full-time", but gets home every day around 2 and has Fridays off. Because of that I know we'll be okay. I know it will be hard for him to do more than he's already doing, but will find a way to make it work.

I got a blessing from him and my home teacher last Friday night and was reminded that Heavenly Father is aware of me and my struggles and loves me and I only need to turn to Him in prayer and scripture study for comfort and peace. I can see the wisdom in those words more now than at the time. I know I will be okay. I know the baby will be okay. Regardless of how the next couple months play out, I know that He is there and wants the best for me and my family. Please keep us in your prayers. More than anything that I can sit still and have some patience for once in my life!! So much for nesting!!"