I'm a tolerant man, more or less. I can put up with a lot.
I understand that Christmas is the happiest time of the year and that the food, decorations, gifts, and get-togethers are something to look forward to and cherish.
Also, I'm a man who can get behind Christmas music. The Johnny Mathis Christmas album featuring classics like "It's a Ding-Dong Marshmellow World" is one of my favorites of all time and I would happily listen to the Vince Guaraldi Trio's music for "A Charlie Brown Christmas" any day of the year. And Frank Sinatra's version of "Jingle Bells?" Fuhgeddaboudit. I defy you not groove on that song.
However, despite my oceanic tolerance (ha ha) and my love of Christmas tunes, I believe there is a time and a place for everything. I don't try to mow the lawn in flip-flops and a tube top in January nor do I wear earmuffs and legwarmers in July. I eat eggs for breakfast and pizza for dinner and never the twain shall meet, you know?
With that in mind, you have to understand that I am of the firm belief that radio stations that start playing Christmas music 24 hours a day, seven days a week the day after Halloween are violating natural law. They might as well be cloning Nazi-cyborg-sheep or something. Christmas music before Thanksgiving is just. not. right.
I realize we don't exactly live in a less-is-more society. There isn't much that's left to the imagination any more and the idea of delayed gratification has become nothing more than an occasional punchline on television.
But come on, doesn't anyone understand that Christmas is that much better when it's a compact, concentrated experience and not something thin and dragged out? I'd rather take a short, luxurious bath in a deep tub than have all the time I want to bathe in a long puddle, you know? I want to be sad when Christmas is over, not wearily relieved.
So don't give me Christmas the day after Halloween. Let me enjoy the falling leaves and the cooling temperatures. Let me look forward to Thanksgiving dinner and the first big snowfall. Don't jam a tree down my throat and tinny, crappy Amy Grant Christmas songs in my ear until I'm good and ready.
6 comments:
You have to read "Ian's Quotable Quote" today on my blog...it goes right along with this post's theme...and might make you smile, too.
Oh, Mark, the one big thing I learned in the job I've now been relieved of is that holidays are all a big PR stunt. And, the worse the economic situation is, the bigger the PR stunt is.
The economic situation is bad, therefore we must push up the big Christmas spend as soon as possible. Thus, Kmart had its "Black Friday" sale on the Sunday after Halloween. We marketers must convince you that if you don't start shelling out the big bucks for Christmas gifts NOW than you'll never get it done and your loved ones will be heartbroken by your holiday incompetence. And, if, because you're starting your shopping in September, you spend a little more than you intended to, well, that's just a happy byproduct.
Just a little something for your stocking--proof that I can still suck the fun out of ANYTHING!
They waited until after Halloween there? We had Christmas stuff in the stores here on Labor Day ! I just put on my blinders. Now, where is our Johnny Mathis CD???? The middle of November is close enough for me !!
Bah-Humbug to you!! :) I was just thinking today about how easy it would be to start pulling Christmas decor out of the crawl space. To each their own...
Wait . . . do you want the book about jetpacks, or the actual jetpack?
I know which one I would choose.
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