Opening Day

It is the last day of March and, more importantly for some, opening day for the Tigers. Later today, downtown will be swamped with the faithful who will endure the rain and gloom to watch their hometown boys open up the days of summer.

Will I be one of them?

No. No, I will not.

And why?

Because I don't care. I don't care at all.

In addition to getting a degree in poetry and not minding going shopping for clothes with my wife, another distinctive marker in my non-manly makeup is my utter indifference when it comes to sports and cars. I don't hold anything against sports fans or car guys -- some of my best friends and favorite family members are into sports (Captain Admiral, Ben) and my dad is the master of all things automotive -- it's just that those two stereotypically male things have never meant anything to me. I've never even been able to effectively fake interest for more than a couple of minutes.

I made several stabs as a kid to get into sports. I did little league baseball, wrestling, soccer, and track. I was dismal at baseball and wrestling but okay in soccer and pretty good in track but the thing was, my heart was never in any of them at all. I did it for kicks, for friends, because it was the thing to do, but I never did it because sports moved me in any way.

So, in 8th grade, after falling from being the fastest kid in school to being only the third fastest kid in school, I stopped even trying and gave up even my half-hearted efforts at being athletic. After that, I went to the occasional basketball or football game but that was always more for the girls than for the competition.

Last year, I happened to wear a baseball cap to school and one of my classmates came up and asked if it was in honor of "the boys not making it." I looked at her as though she'd just spoken to me in Hindi or something. Apparently, that day the Tigers had been knocked out of contention for the World Series and she thought I was commemorating that with my English "D" hat. When I told her I wore it because it was raining that morning and that I owned the hat only because it was cheap, I might as well have spat on her shoes. She was not impressed and actually had less to do with me for the rest of the semester.

Part of me always felt guilty for not liking sports and cars more than I do. I felt like I was somehow falling short in my masculine duties. I felt bad for my various in-laws who use sports as a way to get to know someone because I knew I gave them nothing to go on. When they say, "So, are you excited for March Madness?" and I say, "No, but Robert Hass just released his first poetry collection in almost a decade!" it's rough on them, you know?

But, largely, I'm over my guilt. I'm happy to like the things I like and let others do the same. We all have our thing and, to repeat those wise words, if it works for you, it works for you.

So, here's to you, Tigers fans! I'm sorry you're going to get rained on and that opening day is so gloomy and crappy. May you have many bright, blue sky days in your future. If you need me, I'll be in the bookstore near the poetry section.