A Savant of Beauty

My friend and mentor Scott Samuelson once wrote about going to see a Shakespeare production in England. I think the play was Hamlet and it seems like he saw it in some venerable location - Stratford or the Old Vic or something like that. The lead actor, he wrote, was brilliant, nuanced, and very powerful. Later, the group Scott was with got to have a backstage tour and a Q and A with the lead. Scott said that, as a person, the guy came across as shallow, vapid, and really, really uninteresting. He was extraordinarily gifted but didn't have a clue about it. He wrote about how he couldn't figure out how someone could be so good at something and yet be so unaware of how he's doing it. He was some kind of acting savant apparently.

It's not exactly the same thing, but that story did come to mind as I watched Kim Kardashian perform on DWTS last week. For those of you who don't know, KK is a wealthy socialite ala Paris Hilton. Her dad was O.J. Simpson's lawyer and her step dad is former Wheaties cover boy, Bruce Jenner. She's one of those model/stylist/designer/doesn't-really-do-crap types like Paris Hilton. Lots of people know her name but not many people can name a specific thing that she does. The thing is, unlike Paris who looks like your average high school senior with a lot of money, KK is sort of ridiculously beautiful. She's exotic-looking and isn't shaped like every other stick figure on television. (Please, Susan Lucci, eat something! I'm begging you.)



So okay, she's rich and beautiful and, naive though it may be, I thought she might be an interesting contender on DWTS. Non-entertainment people have come out of nowhere and proven to be strong competitors and interesting personalities. (Hello, Helio Castroneves? The guy sits for a living. Who would have thought that dude stood a chance?) So I was curious to see how KK would do. Unfortunately, as it turns out, what one might assume to be true about a rich, beautiful friend of Paris Hilton's is shaping up to be the case. Not a lot going on there. Here's a bit of last week's write up from Entertainment Weekly:

"I can't tell if the producers chose Kim because she has no detectable personality (beyond being ''shy'' and ''reserved,'' of course) or in spite of it. Anyone with the remotest sense of humor, or even a vague understanding of the term ''sense of humor,'' would have, after agreeing to dance to ''Baby Got Back,'' at least hammed it up for a few seconds. The quasi celebrity seems so afraid of looking stupid or silly that she's forgotten she agreed to be on a show whose primary function is to make quasi-celebrities look stupid and silly. Mark's gross overcompensation for Kim's lifelessness only made the entire spectacle more embarrassing and bizarre."

I know, I know. You're out there saying, "She's boring, untalented, and lacking in personality - and you're surprised, Mr. Brown?" I'm a sucker, I guess. I never thought she would win by any stretch. (That will be either Brooke Burke, Misty May-Treanor, or Lance Bass.) I just didn't think she'd be so lifeless on the stage, you know? The way this links into what I initially wrote about is that I think KK is a savant of beauty. She has the gift of looks but, seemingly, little else. Even Paris showed a little spunk and smarts recently by agreeing to that Paris for President spoof. But alas, KK is all looks and no brains (or dancing ability, I'm afraid.) Watch for her to be eliminated midway, sometime after Cloris Leachman and but before Maurice Green.