Dear Commercial Radio,
We've been through a lot together, you and I. Remember when I was a boy in American Falls and you sang me to sleep with Dexie and the Midnight Runners, Soft Cell, and Blondie? Those were good times.
We've had our rough patches too, of course. You actually had the audacity to let Kurt Kruzer be on your airwaves at Z103 in Idaho Falls and then actually allow him to follow me halfway across the state to Twin Falls. The man's voice gave me hives. His awful, I'm-a-cool-dude delivery smacked of mullets and black leather jackets with zippers all over them.
I've put up with your affection for Matchbox 20 and Third Eye Blind. I deal with your love of morning DJs who laugh maniacally at things that aren't really funny at all. I'm even more or less okay with the fact that, at any given time, Elton John is playing on at least one station in this city.
I know you're probably bugged by the time I've been spending with my iPod lately. I know there are morning drives when you sit there, silent and unused while me and iPod rock out. You're jealous. I understand that. I hear you say, "But there are limitless possibilities with me! You never know what's coming next! That trampy iPod only has eleven hundred songs on it. That's finite, man. Finite!" But here's the deal -- those are eleven hundred songs that I like and that I've put on there myself. Plus, I don't have to listen to commercials or DJs I don't like or useless traffic reports. Do you see what I'm saying?
Actually, that's not the point. I didn't ask you here in order to talk about iPod (we're in love, okay? Deal with it.) This is my point: we've been together through good times and bad, good music and bad, but we've always been together. As such, I feel like I can be honest with you, like I can tell you how it is. So I'm just going to come out and say it:
Stop. Playing. Leona. Lewis. Please!
I know she looks and sounds like a cross between Mariah Carey and Beyonce and that such a combination makes any music marketing guy drool like hopped-up St. Bernard.
But enough. Seriously. I don't want to have to beg and I don't want to utterly sever our relationship but I will. I will embrace iPod so fully it will make your old-school head spin. No more "Bleeding Love." No more. Or else.
Sincerely,
Mark
6 comments:
I actually kinda like the song. Don't you remember her pyrotechnic performance on AI? That was cool...fire, heh, heh, cool.
Anyway, the reason you keep hearing it on the radio is because Allison is particularly fond of that song and has said so the past few mornings.
I gotta say, I'm still kinda a sucker for top 40.
I was sheepishly going to admit I just added that song to my ipod, :)
There's nothing wrong with the song or with people who like the song. It's my evil friend, the radio, that saps the joy out of songs by playing them over and over and over.
Try listening to the radio in Idaho now. It's a lot like Groundhog's Day, the radio is on a loop, plus we get the benefit of really anoying dj's too. BLAH!
I am pleased to admit that I have never even heard of Leona Lewis nor am I even tempted to Google her.
As I'm sure you've heard me mutter before, Mark, 99% of what's on the radio is 100% of what I don't want to listen to.
Snooty elitists of the world unite!
I'm with the Captain - who is she?
Mark- you need to download Bono's version of the Beatles tune, "I am the Walrus," from the "Across the Universe" soundtrack. He does a pretty rockin version.
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